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October 22, 2008


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Rachel Barenblat

I hear you; I feel similarly when I go to Caretaker, the CSA where we've been members for fifteen years. Each week I think, "this is surely the last week of regular distribution; next time we'll be relegated to fetching root vegetables from the quiet cellar." And I grieve, a little bit.

That said... I think "fully holding" a year is an ideal we can only approach asymptotically. Which is to say: we never quite manage it, but we're called to keep trying. The good news is, there will always be another year to come.


' Yet how do I let go when it's another year I didn't hold completely, didn't fully take it.'

You too eh? I was going to try to say something like Rachel did, only she said it first and better, that it's the trying to that matters. This melancholy sense of failure and loss is all part of the cycle, and we must try to hold that and cherish it too.

So don't hate yourself for it.


If it went on forever, we wouldn't appreciate it the way we do.


You're right about it all: its meaning comes into relief because it passes. One tries and fails to hold--the journey the destination.

It's a lovely though maddening paradox. One fails when one tries, yet we try hoping to succeed.

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